The previous post is scary enough that not even I want to read it.
I often find that I feel like the sidekick character in a movie. My happiness is secondary to the main plot.
I've lived a lie for so long, and all it's done is hurt the people around me, given them false perceptions. To crawl so far into myself so that I lose my identity, just to protect myself is truly saddening.
Which is coincidental, I feel the pain of others so easily that I've numbed myself to my own pain, and theirs, and everything, really.
People, friends, family, they don't know me, because I barely know me. I've hidden what I really feel, in favor of feeling nothing at all. But the truth is, there's more to the world than pain, I just have to find someone who can reciprocate feelings with me properly. Happiness in my life would only beget more happiness, and it's exactly what I am, what I want and what I've needed for years and years. For some reason, I just never realized it fully.
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