She's so high above me.

Sometimes, I look at my hands and think to myself...

"Is it possible that I'm cursed with this splotchiness for s reason?"

It's an endless amount of fun for people to ask about it. Like cancer or something.

"What happened to your hands?"

"Oh, one day, I just thought to myself 'MAN! This canister of thermite is just not starting my hands on fire enough.' "

I always have some stupid asshole thing to say about it. I guess I just don't want to be reminded that I'm some sort of freak. Isn't it already bad enough that lots of people are scared of me, and that I'm fat? No, I have to look like marble cake too.

Now the skin on my arms is peeling. I'm sure a lot of people are going to think the two are related. At first I thought they were related, until I remembered the bad sunburn I'd gotten.

Ah well.
I tried to cut down on my food intake last week, but I've simply plateaued. It might have been that brownie sundae I had with my niece though, either way I haven't lost a pound all week, and I'm getting tired. I keep thinking that doing less will help, but it seems to have the reverse effect. Every time I run a mile on the treadmill, I feel like I should have gone for twice as long and twice as fast. Of course, when I move up to the speed I'd like to go at normally (4.0-4.5 MPH) I start to feel a terrible pain in my side. Not pretty, but I have been getting better.

As for actual lifting, I've moved up to 3 sets of 12 reps of 180 pounds on the bench press, and 3 sets of 20 reps of 170 pounds on the a machine. I feel like I should do more than those two. I tried to work my biceps, but I can't stand it. I don't know why, but my triceps have always been stronger, I can barely curl 40 pounds, it's pathetic, I think I've seen several women in the gym who can curl more.

Speaking of women, I'm consistently seeing a pair of 30-35 year old women at the gym. One of them looks fantastic for her age, the other one smells fantastic. I can't bring myself to talk to either one of them, they look like they could easily be married. Still, that one chick has an amazing...well, anyway, she's very fit.

Not that I would have any chance anyway, not that I'm even sure I would want one.

Actually, no, I would totally hit that, but still, there's about 7-8 much skinnier and more muscled men in the gym whenever the two go. Maybe that is why they go. I dunno.

Either way, I need to start losing again, I want to lose at least another 20 pounds before august is over. Previously, I'd stated that if I had continued at the pace I was going, I'd have lost 210 pounds by October. Technically, that would put me underweight quite a bit, but it's a nice goal to shoot for. I'd be ecstatic if I could lose half that much, though my goal is to hit 170 before next year. We'll see, with the stress of school, work and all of these other new endeavors, one can't really tell.

Anime Banzai is what I would consider to be right around the corner, I don't think I'll be going as Kamina, since I just can't pull off the half naked look. Even if I were to get skinny by then, what if I still had all of that excess skin to fit back into? Like Fat Bastard.

No thanks, I think I'd rather go as a Dalek.

I'll probably end up dressed as someone with very little exposed skin. And maybe a girdle.